Balanced Living - Taking Control
What wakes you up at night? And what worries pop into your head during the day? These nagging thoughts are signs of specific difficulties, and a problem in one area will upset all aspects of your life. So what areas hold the issues that are stopping you from gaining control? Is it money, career, job or perhaps your kids or your partner?
If you can identify which area is taking over your life, then congratulations, you have completed the first step to gaining control. Now you need to find the Real Cause, the original problem/stress/issue/incident that is causing you to think, act and feel the way you do.
Suppose you feel disenchanted with life, like you don’t fit in or find everything totally meaningless. . . Try going somewhere alone where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes and focus on your issue; let the frustrations, fears and angst flow. Once you feel your distress, then ask yourself where did these feelings originate from? What age were you, where were you living, what was happening in your world at that time?
We get stuck in our past angst and keep re-living those emotions again and again, but with new people and different scenarios. The realization that your negative emotions are almost always related to a past origin will help you move forwards. Go ahead, give it a try.
Share with us your ways of coping, you might make a huge difference in someone else’s life.
The best ideas are going to win 2 tickets to the May/2008 Breaking Barriers Workshop in Ottawa, Ontario. (These tickets sell for $300 at the door.)
Go to the following link to learn more about these workshops at www.breakingbarriersworkshop.com
There are several techniques I use to take control of negative thoughts and emotions. Below are the ones I use frequently.
1) Be Aware: When I get a negative feeling, I find the thought that generated that feeling; I look deeper to see what message it's sending to me about an aspect of my life that may be troubling me; I decide if I want to take action; I decide what I'm going to do to change my perceptions, my reactions and the situation.
2) Be Grateful: We take a lot in our lives for granted. When I wake up in the morning, I spend a few minutes reminding myself what I'm grateful for – the sun coming up every day, a great country to live in, my house which provides me shelter, my friends, family and colleagues who are supportive, a great job, my cats, and most importantly, that I'm alive.
3) Look for the Beauty: I look to small things that surround me, and I look at their inherent beauty – the glistening snow, the speed of storm clouds, a scurrying chipmunk, Canada geese flying in formation, a stranger's smile, a person's face, a person's eyes, a good joke.
4) Be in the Moment or in the Present: For the longest time, this concept was very hard for me to feel. I had a tendency to be stuck in the past. Other people have a tendency to worry about the future. I think many of us don't have a good grasp of this concept because, as a society, we are too much in a hurry. Being in the moment occurs when you are aware of your immediate surroundings and are fully engaged 100% in what you are doing. You're not thinking about the past or the future, but are deriving happiness from the present.
5) Connect with Others: Many of us feel alone and like we don't fit in even though we may be surrounded by family, friends and colleagues. I got over that feeling when I started opening up to people whom I trust and who I felt were not a threat to me. I would share a story about myself and find others would be interested, and then they start sharing their stories with me. What's important is trust. When you connect with others, it does not have to be a deep heart-to-heart conversation. It can be as simple as smiling to a stranger on a bus, complimenting them on something that catches your eye, and then you're in a conversation. I've learnt a lot from strangers on the bus (e.g., I obtained the name of a very good English grammar book from a school teacher whom I only met once. This book is now my main reference guide as a writer).
6) Meditation and Guided Meditation: I meditate to rejuvenate my soul and renew my creativity. Also, the guided audio visualizations which are offered by Dr. Tony Brunelle and Dr. Marcelle Forget are very powerful. I highly recommend "Rescuing Your Inner Child" and "Aura Clearing".
7) Taking Note: Everyday, I write small notes about little things that made me happy and I circle them in yellow. At a later date, see all my yellow circles and choose some at random to read. They serve a nice reminders.
Françoise.
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