Let's talk
relationships. They are vital to
your health. Just think, the most severe punishment that our society can come
up with is solitary confinement. Nobody
wants that as it is a severe form of punishment. This shows how much we need relationships
to function and to be healthy.
The trouble is most relationships are not functioning
properly. Have you noticed how many
middle aged couples are simply two people living together, not a couple?
How many children don't talk to their parents? How many people don't talk to their brothers
or sisters? Dysfunctional relationships don’t nurture ones spirit and will lead
to a life of frustration and dis-ease.
New relationships always start off with a lot of
energy. However, with time the energy
dissipates and slowly without knowing many end up in a dysfunctional
relationship. The trouble is with time comes familiarity which breeds contempt,
or at least indifference.
In my practice I find it in a large percentage of my clients
are dissatisfied with their relationships with their significant other. Often times there is outright hostility yet
they stay in this relationship, in a co-dependent role.
One woman came to me with a health problem, she had breast
cancer. As an intuitive consultant I
quickly told her that it had to do with her relationship with her husband. She quickly agreed that she was in a poor
relationship, she didn't feel she was appreciated, and that she felt
unloved. We worked with her on regaining
her self-esteem, and together with traditional cancer therapy helped her to
recover her health and her sense of worth.
Do you take your relationships for granted? A relationship is something that requires
constant nourishment and attention. A relationship is also a 2-way street; both
parties have to make the effort.
So let's be real, many of us, if not most of us, do not come
from an ideal childhood. Often there is
abuse, violence, rejection or indifference in one's background. This is life; the “Leave it to Beaver”
television family just isn't reality.
And so we bring our imprinting along with us as we begin to
form life long relationships. There is a
lot of our parents in us; there is the imprinting from our past in us, and
whether we know it or not we tend to repeat a lot of a situations that we consciously
abhor.
When it comes to our significant other, I find that many
people are with their mates because it was the thing to do. You get out of high school, you find someone,
you get married and you're supposed to live happily ever after.
And then comes middle age when we start to question
ourselves, our role in society, and our relationships. Why did we marry this
person? Did we really marry our mother
or a father? Do we really have anything in common? Do you feel stuck in a go
nowhere relationship? These are the thoughts seem to come up.
And we have many relationships. We have relationships not only with our
spouse but also with our children, our parents, our coworkers, or our neighbors
and friends. Again, upon what do we base
our relationships if not on how we were trained as children? Do we really want to go through the rest of
our lives living the lives of our parents?
Does this mean you should leave your spouse? I don’t know, but I am suggesting you take a
good look at who you are, what you want out of life and how you and your
significant other work together.
Do you have common goals together? Do you still take time to play together? Do you still enjoy being with each
other? Do you still have a sex life
together?
If the answer to any of those questions is no then you'd
better start working on your relationship right now. When was the last time you and your partner
had a romantic evening together? I mean a real romantic evening; hotel, meal,
dancing, the works. Do you plan holidays
together and do you both enjoy what you're doing? Do you enjoy being with each other?
I've worked with a lot of people as couples using my
intuitive abilities and I have found that most often what is upsetting you with
your partner actually has very little to do with them. Most of the time what is upsetting you is
really something they're doing that is tweaking a past memory, and most often
the past memory has nothing to do with your partner. When you can identify where the real irritant
is coming from you will start to draw much closer to your partner.
I also found that when one person is working on personal
growth and development and their partner is not they tend to grow apart. A relationship is two people growing
together. Yes you can have different
interests but you must also share us strong interest in growing your
relationship.
One couple I worked with was together because it was very
convenient. Both had been in multiple
relationships before, both had been hurt many times and both decided that their
current situation was simply a relationship of convenience. When they were worked on together as a unit,
something clicked and they actually fell deeply in love with each other. This couple felt so strong about their
emotions for each other that they actually decided to get married. This was something they both swore would
never happen to them again.
In another situation a couple came individually to see me to
work on their personal growth and on their relationship. In this case the woman realized this
relationship was not what she wanted out of life, and it was actually stopping
her from being all she wanted to be. She left the relationship. She has since grown in leaps and bounds in
her personal life and in her business career.
This is not an uncommon situation.
Tony
BrunelleCall
613-592-8100
www.HowToBreakthrough.com
Hi Tony and Marcelle,
Your latest seminar on relationships was excellent. For me, it was non-stop learning and fun. I really liked how you structured the different exercises and made it easy for us to speak up and share our questions, as well as encourage us to interact with different people. I always learn a lot from other participants, and I enjoy this aspect of your seminars immensely. Tony amazes me each time he does a demonstration, and I never tire of seeing them. Marcelle, your insight was very helpful.
Thank you both for a wonderful day.
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