Insights on Personal Growth and Empowerment: Recent Comments

Comment on Lets Talk Relationships

Francoise — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:55:37 GMT

Hi Tony and Marcelle,

Your latest seminar on relationships was excellent. For me, it was non-stop learning and fun. I really liked how you structured the different exercises and made it easy for us to speak up and share our questions, as well as encourage us to interact with different people. I always learn a lot from other participants, and I enjoy this aspect of your seminars immensely. Tony amazes me each time he does a demonstration, and I never tire of seeing them. Marcelle, your insight was very helpful.

Thank you both for a wonderful day.

Comment on What You Are Doing Speaks So Loud I Can't Hear What You Are Saying

Francoise — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 19:49:04 GMT

Hi Tony,

Today is my birthday, and I woke up to the realization that my deepest fear (not wanting to have been born) and my painful childhood memories have melted away. Coincidence or what!?!

Your May 2008 seminar on overcoming fear worked! It was hard going, but having faith and trust in your techniques allowed me to move forward.

What surprises me (and I am so grateful for this), is I no longer feel or remember the painful memories from my childhood which were so detailed. What's emerging are hidden memories of the happy times I had as a child. I feel a sense of freedom. Did you know that my name, Francoise, means "freedom"? Cool, eh!

Comment on What You Are Doing Speaks So Loud I Can't Hear What You Are Saying

Francoise — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 11:46:44 GMT

Hi Tony,

I like your quote from Winston Churchill, "Man will occasionally stumble upon a great truth, but most will pick themselves up and carry on as though nothing ever happened". I guess you would say that they are in denial. For me, after trying to confront my biggest fear, and finding snippets of truth and enlightenment, as well as lots of sadness, this quote gives me the encouragement to move ahead and continue to work on my biggest fear. After all, what have I to lose? Your message says to me that I must look at what's of importance in my life, and continue to work at it despite perceived setbacks.

Francoise

Comment on Your Money Thermostat

Francoise — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:47:55 GMT

Hi Tony,

Nicely written and a good topic. As I mentioned to you before, my problem with money is I have a hard time spending money on me... no problem spending it on other people... comes from my childhood, starting at the age of 5 when I saved all my dimes, quarters (especially those from the tooth fairy) and birthday money to buy my mom articles that we needed since there was no-one else around to buy her presents. To this day, mom remembers all the useful gifts I gave to her, many of which I have forgotten. Funny thing is that my first conscious effort to spend money on me was when I decided to continue to come and see you after you cured my migraine headache six years ago... a wellness session with you is like a one-hour body massage, very therapeutic and relaxing... something which I offer to myself. Does anyone else out there have a hard time spending money on themselves and would be willing to share their story?

I'm looking forward to the May 4, 2008 Breaking Barriers workshop and discovering more about my relationship with money.

Françoise

Comment on Your Money Thermostat

Francoise — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 19:48:16 GMT

Hi Tony,

Nicely written and a good topic. As I mentioned to you before, my problem with money is I have a hard time spending money on me... no problem spending it on other people... comes from my childhood, starting at the age of 5 when I saved all my dimes, quarters (especially those from the tooth fairy) and birthday money to buy my mom articles that we needed since there was no-one else around to buy her presents. To this day, mom remembers all the useful gifts I gave to her, many of which I have forgotten. Funny thing is that my first conscious effort to spend money on me is when I decided to continue to come and see you after you cured my migraine headache six years ago... a wellness session with you is like a one-hour body massage, very therapeutic and relaxing... something which I offer to myself.

I'm looking forward to the May 4, 2008 Breaking Barriers workshop and discovering more about my relationship with money.

Francoise

Comment on Procrastination, The Subtle Goal Killer

Francoise — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:54:17 GMT

Overcoming procrastination among perfectionists

Being a person who is somewhat perfectionistic and detailed oriented, I would hold off doing something if I could not do it perfectly (e.g., I don't have all the facts, I don't have my thoughts organized, or I feel I don't have enough time to do a good job). Then I read a statement which has helped me quite a bit.

"I choose to start on one small step and do it humanly with plenty of time for guilt-free play."

The word humanly indicates that it's not going to be perfect and it could be subject to criticism. To me, it means that I'm going to get it done as well as I can in the time that there is. For example, if you give me 3 days to write a bulletin, I'll give you a 3-day bulletin. If I have only 1 day, I will just include bullet points.

I really like this statement. It made me realize that I can allocate my effort based on the time available and based on the importance of the task. I don't have to give 100% to everything I do. I now chuckle when a quickly-written bulletin of mine goes out with a mistake and many of my conscientious readers will e-mail me to point it out. I thank them for their observation, and it makes me feel good that they pay attention to what I write and that it's not the end of the world when I make mistakes.

Another key point is the word choose. When you say to yourself, "I have to do it," a part of you will subconsciously feel, "I don't want to", thus draining you of energy and motivation. A better internal thought process is to "choose" to do something. You may not want to do it but by choosing to do it, you take control of your life where you choose to face the difficulty, the fear with whatever it takes to make it happen. When I feel I have too many things to do, I say to myself that I have many options to choose from, and I choose to do the most important and let the rest slide. This is empowering!

It's also important to allow time for guilt-free play. I now plan my tasks with every intention of including time to have fun in my life. When you do this, you're telling yourself, "I'm not putting off living my life. I'm going to have plenty of fun in my life". This makes it easier to concentrate on your work because you've set a deadline to complete the task but have also included playtime within that schedule. Not scheduling guilt-free play leads to burnout where you'll make mistakes and loose your motivation. I call this being "nice to myself". I find that by thinking this way, I have more fun at what I do at work and at home.

I'm fortunate that I have a partner who recognizes my signs of procrastination. My husband is a good coach in that he'll ask me what's the most important task that needs my action, and then he'll urge me to "focus the mind". It's his gentle way of reminding me not to procrastinate on important tasks.

Françoise.

Comment on Balanced Living - Taking Control

Francoise — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 19:56:19 GMT

There are several techniques I use to take control of negative thoughts and emotions. Below are the ones I use frequently.

1) Be Aware: When I get a negative feeling, I find the thought that generated that feeling; I look deeper to see what message it's sending to me about an aspect of my life that may be troubling me; I decide if I want to take action; I decide what I'm going to do to change my perceptions, my reactions and the situation.

2) Be Grateful: We take a lot in our lives for granted. When I wake up in the morning, I spend a few minutes reminding myself what I'm grateful for – the sun coming up every day, a great country to live in, my house which provides me shelter, my friends, family and colleagues who are supportive, a great job, my cats, and most importantly, that I'm alive.

3) Look for the Beauty: I look to small things that surround me, and I look at their inherent beauty – the glistening snow, the speed of storm clouds, a scurrying chipmunk, Canada geese flying in formation, a stranger's smile, a person's face, a person's eyes, a good joke.

4) Be in the Moment or in the Present: For the longest time, this concept was very hard for me to feel. I had a tendency to be stuck in the past. Other people have a tendency to worry about the future. I think many of us don't have a good grasp of this concept because, as a society, we are too much in a hurry. Being in the moment occurs when you are aware of your immediate surroundings and are fully engaged 100% in what you are doing. You're not thinking about the past or the future, but are deriving happiness from the present.

5) Connect with Others: Many of us feel alone and like we don't fit in even though we may be surrounded by family, friends and colleagues. I got over that feeling when I started opening up to people whom I trust and who I felt were not a threat to me. I would share a story about myself and find others would be interested, and then they start sharing their stories with me. What's important is trust. When you connect with others, it does not have to be a deep heart-to-heart conversation. It can be as simple as smiling to a stranger on a bus, complimenting them on something that catches your eye, and then you're in a conversation. I've learnt a lot from strangers on the bus (e.g., I obtained the name of a very good English grammar book from a school teacher whom I only met once. This book is now my main reference guide as a writer).

6) Meditation and Guided Meditation: I meditate to rejuvenate my soul and renew my creativity. Also, the guided audio visualizations which are offered by Dr. Tony Brunelle and Dr. Marcelle Forget are very powerful. I highly recommend "Rescuing Your Inner Child" and "Aura Clearing".

7) Taking Note: Everyday, I write small notes about little things that made me happy and I circle them in yellow. At a later date, see all my yellow circles and choose some at random to read. They serve a nice reminders.

Françoise.

Comment on Balanced Living

Francoise — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 19:09:56 GMT

"Be Kind to Myself"

Finding balance in one's life is an important skill for finding happiness. One step I took to finding balance in my life was to "be kind to myself". Instead of focusing on work after business hours and on the weekends, I started exploring hobbies that brought me happiness (e.g., volunteering, painting, star gazing, bird watching, traveling). I started doing activities with others for fun (e.g., curling for fun instead of being competitive, singing in the choir at work once a week). By trying new things that were fun to do, and expanding my horizons beyond work, I started to enjoy many aspects of my life more intensely. I can also credit Dr. Tony Brunelle for helping me discover conditioning from my childhood that was holding me back from enjoying life fully.

Françoise.